Wherever you would call me

Without a doubt, the song “Oceans” by Hillsong is one of my favorite worship songs. It’s great because it has a powerful message behind it, not to mention the vocals in this song are incredible. I get excited every time I hear those first few seconds of the song at church or FCA because I know some great worship is coming our way. Long story short, I am a big fan of this song.

The first time I heard this song, the phrase that is repeated multiple times throughout the song really stood out to me. It instantly became my prayer and wish:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” 

That truly is what I wanted. I wanted my faith in God to be drastically increased and I wanted to grow in deeper devotion to him. I didn’t want to hesitate when giving him every area of my life because I trusted Him without limits or conditions. I didn’t want to be afraid of Him leading me somewhere outside of my comfort zone because I knew my faith would increase in the process. That’s why I was drawn to this song so much! It summed up exactly what I wanted and was worded perfectly. 

Well, God heard and answered my prayer alright, but not exactly in the way I was expecting. Looking back on it, while praying this, I was expecting Him to lead me to an internship in Haiti, to work at a summer camp, or to share my faith with someone new. I was already okay with doing these things, so subconsciously I just assumed God’s plan would align with mine instead of the other way around.

As it turns out, God decided to increase my trust in a different way. I felt God was calling me to make a decision that I wasn’t wanting to make; but, I wanted to trust him, so I did it. I thought that after making that particular choice, things were going to get easier for me. Instead, I had a rude awakening. Since I’m being honest here, the route He decided to take was one I without a doubt hated. I was stressed, frustrated, upset, and quite frankly pretty mad about it. I found myself asking God why He had asked me to make that decision because it just didn’t make sense to me. Let’s be real, I was throwing a hissy fit in my mind that was directed towards God. 

Throughout this temper tantrum that was becoming my prayer life, I kept hearing God tell me that in the end, this was all going to be worth it. He was saying that He knows what’s best for me and He knows what’s in store for my future, when I don’t have a clue. Thankfully, my irrationality only lasted about two weeks (although I’m ashamed it lasted that long), but finally I chose to believe what God was telling me. He knew that this decision was the one thing that I hadn’t surrendered over to Him yet, and it needed to become His. 

Now, I’ve realized that God was right the entire time and I was simply being stubborn. The decision he called me to make was ultimately in my best interest, even though I couldn’t see it at the time. Plus, as an added bonus, he was increasing my faith in Him along the way. Because I went through that period, I learned so much and I can’t even explain to you how much I’ve grown in just a few short weeks.  

I know I was pretty vague about the decision I had to make, but that’s not the part of this story I want to focus on. This is a pretty recent experience, something I’m still processing and learning from. But so far, here’s what I’ve been able to gather:

• God knows what is best for your present and knows what’s best for your future. TRUST THAT. (but really, don’t think that the plan you have in your head is better than God’s because I can go ahead and tell you that it isn’t.) *Ephesians 3:20*

•  Don’t be conditional. By saying this, I mean don’t ask God to transform you to be more like Jesus, but then say He can only do so through ways in which you approve. It doesn’t
  and shouldn’t work like that. (again, refer to point #1)

• It’s okay to wonder why things are happening, but don’t question God’s intentions. He loves you more than anyone on this Earth, and He’s going to work things together for your good.

• You only have an earthly perspective, which has its limitations. You can see your perspective on your present and past. However, God sees how circumstances and events are going to impact your future, and also how they are going to bring glory to Him.

After all, bringing glory to Him is what it’s all about, right?

-Taylor