We really are all in this together

Over the course of the past few months, a comment has been made to me multiple times that has really stood out to me. I feel like most people wouldn’t think twice about it, but it really got me thinking. I can remember distinct occasions lately where a friend has told me “you seem like you have it all together,” or “you just have everything figured out.” 

I’m fairly confident that every time someone told me this, I laughed in their face and explained that I have NOTHING figured out. 

Yes, I had an amazing first semester at a university that I love with all my heart; but I’m also double majoring in fields that I’m not 100% confident are for me.  I’ve had the hardest time (that’d be an understatement) dealing with my grandmother’s passing away this summer. I’ve been stressed and upset about losing valuable friendships from high school. To top all that off, right before I moved to Clemson, I was asking myself if my faith was founded on what I believed or what my parents believed. Looking at everything I’ve been going through, in my personal opinion, I don’t seem like someone who “has it all together.”  

The comment just confused me. I couldn’t help but wonder, why in the world do people look up to ME because I “have it all together” when I clearly don’t? It just wasn’t adding up. After giving consideration to this thought, I’ve came to a realization. While this comment could have been made because my friends see that I try to place my trust in God for all circumstances (which I sincerely hope is the reason), it got me thinking about transparency and being honest with ourselves and with others. 

A weakness of mine is being transparent. When smaller situations occur that are just frustrating or upsetting, I have good friends that I can talk to about it. However, whenever I’m truly going through a hard time…good luck trying to get me to say anything. But, the truth is, the times when I close people off is when I need community the most. 

I think that a lot of times, Christians believe that we need to make it seem that we “have it all together” or are living a perfect, happy life. It’s almost frowned upon to open up to others about things because we will be seen as “needy” or “dramatic” (although I will admit that there is a line separating being honest about what you’re going through and seeking attention). Everyone knows that when someone asks us how we’re doing, our automatic reaction is “I’m good,” regardless of our circumstances.

It’s our duty as brothers and sisters in Christ to lift each other up and support each other in our journey. If we don’t allow ourselves to open up to each other, then we can’t support each other. We aren’t meant to go through this life alone. We have the Holy Spirit with us, and we also have all followers of Christ as our family. The bible tells us and shows us over and over again that living as a follower of Christ isn’t going to be easy; we’re going to face trials, temptations, and persecution. That’s a lot to handle alone, don’t you think? Galatians 6:2 says that we are to “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” See, that’s the thing. God knew this life was going to be difficult and he doesn’t want us to think we’re in this by ourselves! He has designed us to have a community to build us up, encourage us, support us, etc.

I know how valuable and appreciated my brothers and sisters in Christ have been while I’m going through minor situations, so I’ve realized I need to be honest with them and accept that they’re there to help me through the big things as well. Like I said, we’re designed to live in community, so I think it’s time we trust in the amazing support system God has designed us for and blessed us with. When Troy and Gabriella told us “we’re all in this together” in 2006, they weren’t lying. (cheesy but I can’t help it :) 

-Taylor

Comparison is a thief of joy

I never in a million years thought that I would be one to start a blog, but after a friend of mine suggested that I start one, here I am. After thinking about it, I realized that I actually have a lot that I would talk about. I've gone through and most importantly, learned a lot, in the past year. Honestly, I would love to share my journey so far so that hopefully someone will learn from my mistakes. If maybe one or two people read this, then I'll consider this a success.

The first thing and probably the most important thing that I've learned this year is that comparison is nothing but a thief of joy, simple as that. The sooner we understand the concept that comparing ourselves to others will get us absolutely nowhere, the sooner we can be content and maybe even happy with who we are. I see girls comparing themselves to each other almost constantly, and I'm sure if we could count the amount of comparisons we make in a day, the number would be astronomical (please notice I’m saying we…as in I’m just as guilty if not more than anyone). Whether we are comparing ourselves to others on an issue such as looks, money, or friends, or if we are comparing based on the amount of instagram likes your picture receives (don’t pretend like not getting a lot of likes doesn’t bother you), we are only hurting ourselves. The truth is, we are basing the value we place in ourselves on how we perceive others! How is this even close to being fair?? When we do this, it’s a lose-lose situation because we will never be good enough in our mind. There is always going to be someone who you feel is more _____ than you. Like I said, comparison is a thief of joy.

But, the good news is, comparing ourselves to others isn’t necessary in determining our self-worth. Your value has already been determined when a man named Jesus Christ died on a cross for you thousands of years ago. You don’t have to worry about how other people look or are acting because you know what? You are valuable and you have worth. YOU are worth being loved. YOU are worth being cared about, YOU are worth having valuable people in your life. Seriously, let that soak in. For years I “knew” this concept. In my mind, I would tell myself over and over again that "yeah I have value because Jesus died for me." But, my heart didn’t believe it.

That was until I went to this awesome event called “Afterdark” at Clemson. At this event, I realized that a man was mocked, tortured, beaten, hung from a cross, and eventually died all because he saw value in ME. If I was the only person on the planet, he would have gone through the same thing because he loves me and undoubtedly believes that I am valuable. I don’t know about you, but this concept blows my mind. God loves you and wants to truly know you so badly that he let his son die on a cross so that he could save and truly know you. Seems like he saw a lot of value in you, doesn’t it? If God didn’t see you as valuable, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross.

I can personally testify that once you realize how valuable you truly are, life gets so much better. You stop doubting yourself and stop thinking that you aren’t good enough for things or people. Because if I’m good enough for Jesus, then I’m good enough for anyone and anything. My identity is determined by Christ alone, and his love is a wonderful place to find my value.

-Taylor