The countdown to Valentine’s Day (or Single Awareness
Day…you choose) is officially on, and there only six more days until chocolate,
flowers, and huge stuffed teddy bears take over the nation. With this upcoming
pandemic in our midst, plus the fact that I just attended a conference about
preparing your heart for your future husband, I’ve been spending a lot of time
thinking about relationships and marriages.
I have wanted to write a post about relationships for a
while now, but I felt unqualified because trusting God in this area of my life
is one of the top things I struggle with. From dating relationships to
friendships, and everything in between, they just aren’t something I’m happy to
release control of. Plus, I honestly had no idea what angle I wanted to take on
this subject. However, last night as I was reading my Bible, God put a love
story on my heart that I thought I would share (and it was found in the Genesis…the
Old Testament is cool too, yall).
(Sidenote: Seriously girls, if you want to see some TRUE,
UNCONDITIONAL love stories, put down the Nicholas Sparks and pick up the Bible.
This is something that I’m learning right now and it’s incredible.)
Anyways, in Genesis 29 we see the story of Jacob and Rachel.
God had led Jacob to Paddam-Aram and he had been staying with his uncle/Rachel’s
father, Laban, for about a month now. I’m assuming during this month Jacob and
Rachel became pretty close, because in verse 18 it says that Jacob was in love
with Rachel and wanted to marry her.
During this time period, there was a custom that said the
man must give his future wife’s family a substantial gift to compensate for the
loss of their daughter. However, Jacob didn’t have anything materialistic to
offer Laban. But, because he desperately wanted to marry Rachel and loved her so
much, he offered to work for Laban for SEVEN YEARS (kinda crazy seeing as a lot
of marriages don’t even last that long). Laban agreed, and Jacob began his work
without pay. In verse 20 (girls don’t miss this) it says that “Jacob worked
seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it
seemed to him for a few days.” HOW PRECIOUS IS THAT?
The seven years came to an end, and Jacob was ready and able
to marry Rachel. However, there was a twist. When Jacob and Rachel were
supposed to consummate their marriage, Laban brought Leah, Rachel’s older
sister, to Jacob instead of Rachel! Jacob woke up in the morning to find that
he had actually slept with Leah instead of Rachel (talk about a surprise). Needless
to say, he was pretty mad. After questioning Laban about why he did this, Laban
explained that the younger daughter (Rachel) could not be married until the
older daughter (Leah) had been married as well. But, Laban explained, if you
really want to marry Rachel, you can work SEVEN MORE YEARS for her. And you know
what? He stayed and worked seven more years.
So basically, long story short, Jacob loved Rachel so much
that he spent fourteen years of his life working in order for her to finally be
his wife. Talk about a crazy kid in love. I look at this story and I see how
Jacob worked for her, pursued her, and showed her how much she was worth by
giving up so much of his life for her. But then, I look at the majority of
relationships now, and they look nothing like this.
I feel like so often, we just decide to settle. (I could be
wrong, but I know this applies to girls and I have a suspicion that it might
apply to guys too). We don’t expect to
be treated the way that Jacob treated Rachel. We settle for people who refuse
to define the relationship, treat us like we’re the second best, are so
on-again off-again that we have no idea where the relationship stands the
majority of the time. As Christians, we settle for people who don’t lead us
towards God and don’t work hard to protect our purity. Why do we do this? I
think it’s because we think we have no other option.
THAT’S NOT TRUE.
I’m not saying that we have to wait for someone who will
spend fourteen years working for us, but I am saying we need to wait for
someone who will show us that we’re worthy of intentional pursuit, unconditional
love, see value in us, genuinely care about us…the list goes on. And do you
know who is going to give us someone like that? God. Are you going to find it aimlessly
searching on your own? Nope.
In Genesis 29, God
was the one who brought Rachel and Jacob together. God is infinite, meaning
He’s the same now as He was then. He brought Rachel and Jacob together, so that
means he can bring me the guy that God has set apart to be my future husband,
and he can bring you your future spouse too. Why are we settling on dating and
possibly marrying people who we KNOW don’t treat us the way God would want them
to?
What I’ve found that I need to do to prevent this situation
is stop trying to play matchmaker. I need to stop trying to force things to
happen and stop trying to prevent things from happening. I need to trust that
God has a plan for my life, and when HIS timing is right, He’s going to bring
me the person He has planned for me.
God has already written the ultimate love story when He sent
Jesus to die on the cross for us. With those credentials, I would much rather
put down the pen and let Him write the love story for my life.
-Taylor
